Playing House
by Lydia Plumn
Summary: Roy Mustang and Riza Hawkeye are chosen to go undercover after two agents are unavailable...their mission? Play husband and Wife....this'll be fun! Royai T just to be safe
1. Default Chapter

Playing House.

By: sarah-chan

Disclaimer: I do not in any form and/or fashion own Full Metal Alchemist® I am merely using the characters for a story with which I wish to exercise my writing abilities.

Thank you

Chapter I

"Be Careful What You Wish For"

Warm.

The day was soft, and warm.

He stared out the window wondering why the biting autumn wind had decided to take a break today. The fiery leaves of the trees below were still; their usual violent dance to the rhythm of howling wind silenced. This day was like _her_ it's light was her hair, it's gentle breeze her seldom heard laugh, and it's warmth was her smile she only offered to few. Riza….she was a continuous autumn who sometimes, when she thought none was looking and the world seemed to stand still would become as sweet as a spring day.

Roy Mustang suddenly turned from the window, his sober thoughts interrupted by a tired sounding voice. "Here you are Sir; please try to at least get a few of them done by noon." The sound was followed by the thud of a stack of paperwork hitting his desk. "Lieutenant Hawkeye….out partying again last night?" he asked sarcastically eyeing the circles beneath her eyes and sluggish appearance. The woman gave him a steady, careful gaze and caressed lightly the gun she so cherished. Somehow this almost seemed seductive to a man who could have any woman but this one, the one most appealing to him.

The loud and suddenly much more obnoxious than usual ring of his phone sent both of them back to reality and Hawkeye out the door, though not before giving him another stack of papers.

"Hello, Cornel Mustang speaking" he said deciding his first lieutenant may be ill.

Riza sighed, and placed a hand to her head. She had been on the phone almost all night listening to her sister in-law vent to her about how worried she was about Riza's brother Jeremy, him seeming ill, but too stubborn to admit it, and how their daughters, Mellisa and Malayna, seemed uninterested in their school work as of late. Riza had assured the woman her brother had always been so stubborn and most children were bored with school at one time or another. The sheltered woman had thanked her and then began telling her a bunch of new recipes and various gossip, keeping Riza up till 4:00 AM. Afterward the young woman had admitted Jeremy was on a business trip and she was quite frightened alone as the girls had both gone to a sleep-over. And now, Roy Mustang wanted to tease her and look at her with a gleam in his eyes as she lightly brushed her gun. The cool metal had such a calming effect sometimes.

Riza groaned inwardly at the pile of paperwork on her desk and sat down wearily. Coronal must have gone somewhere, his desk unoccupied at the front of the room.

Sometimes she wished she had it as easy as her sister in-law: A handsome husband, two adorable kids, and of course a housekeeper and huge house.

Riza closed her eyes and sighed, allowing her perhaps only a few moments of relaxation as she leaned back slightly in her chair. 'Only a minute or two then I'll get back to work., I WON"T fall asleep.' She mentally stated, already being captured by the essence of sleep.

How was he to explain this to Hawkeye? He wasn't sure why he had taken the offer, perhaps the reward, perhaps the thought of possible promotion, _cause you get to be with her…_ he blank his eyes, and shook his head, the little voice bothering him.

Riza was fast asleep, her head leaned back in her chair and her face relaxed. Roy stopped, unsure of whether he should take such a risk as this one. He studied her for only a moment before lightly placing his hand on her arm, wishing he had a camera. As if only dozing, the young woman opened one eye and then the other, hand relaxing on her holster as she made out his face. "Sir?" she exclaimed in a sudden rush to her feet. Roy chuckled lightly and smirked "Finally! I caught you!" Riza frowned, unsure of what to say as it was indeed true he had caught her sleeping on duty, something she had NEVER done. Roy could see the cogs turning in her head as she thought of a comeback so he quickly changed the subject.

"What?" the young lieutenant exclaimed, amber eyes wide at the news he had just given her. She suddenly stared at the floor embarrassed by her sudden uncharacteristic outburst; she had to get more sleep, she was completely not herself today.

Roy placed a folder before her "I know, it seems a little different than our normal line of work Lieutenant, but the only agents that fit the recommendations were both unavailable." Riza didn't know what to say, she opened the folder and read the profile her coronal had volunteered her to promote. "Melissa Onyx…" she breathed.

"Yes, and I will be playing the part of "Brent Onyx, we are going to stay under these names at a bed and breakfast in Valia village. The owners are suspected of smuggling more than one category of illegal paraphernalia. They are also suspected of auctioning off top secret military information……It won't be that bad Hawkeye…. After all you get to share a bed with the most eligible bachelor in the world!" Riza couldn't' help herself, and a bullet sailed past the raven haired head before her.

She suddenly remembered her wish of earlier and wanted to take the gun to herself, "Be careful what you wish for……" A familiar voice echoed before she snuffed it out by letting her head fall to the desk.

Authors Notes: I know a lot of people are going to think that Riza is horribly out of character but I've seen almost all of the series in Japanese and she isn't really the cold emotionless robot people make her out to be, she smiles all the time. Yes, she knows when to be serious and goes by the rules, but generally she's a pretty nice gal


	2. Looking the Part

"Playing House"

By: Lydia Plumn

Disclaimer: I do not in any form and/or fashion own Full Metal Alchemist® I am merely using the characters for a story with which I wish to exercise my writing abilities.

Thank you

NOTE: If you have not see episode 25 there may be slight spoilage here, thank you.

Chapter II "Look the Part"

3 Months Later

"You be a good boy now Hayate…" Riza said softly, a hand on the canine's soft head as she bent to give him a farewell, her other hand tight on a leather satchel, and her eyes staring directly into the dark ones of her animal counterpart. She rose slowly, "Goodbye Glacier, thank you so much for taking care of Black Hayate, I'm sure he'll have fun with Elicia. Bye Bye Lici." She called waving and smirking as Elicia clasped her legs. "Bye, aunty Riza!"

"Looks like your niece is really fond of you." The driver commented after the house was out of site and they had driven half-way to where they would pick up Colonel Mustang. Riza did not correct the man but just smiled lightly "Yes, I love her too." Elicia and Glacier had become like a second family to her, always inviting her to dinner and welcoming her with open arms and loving hearts when she obliged. Elicia really seemed to open up to Riza, often telling her how her Daddy was in heaven and showing her the many vibrant sketches of him with beautiful crayon wings. "Most angels in pictures have white wings, but I think Daddy's are like the rainbow, cause he was more than one color, he was lots…" she told Riza once as the older woman had gently traced the childish portrayal of the heavenly being, A familiar feel in the quirky little black circles around the eyes and spiky hair.

"HNNNNK!" The driver hit the middle of the steering wheel, causing Riza to jump and come from her daydreaming. Roy Mustang was soon beside her, obviously annoyed at the driver's lack of respect. "I was just informed by phone that we are to have 'makeovers' to play our parts…" Roy murmured looking out the window past his blonde companion. Riza raised a brow and nodded slowly, her anger boiling slowly. They had been through enough, acting coaches had taught them the body language of a couple, and the lessons had felt like hours of torture, being so close to Roy Mustang made her cheeks flush and her insides melt and boil. Riza felt her cheeks turning pink as memories of she and Roy learning to hug filled her head and she looked away, feigning interest in the drab gray roadside.

"Ah, Colonel Mustang, Lieutenant, come in, I am Joplin your stylist today!" A man with an obviously fake accent exclaimed, his dialect seeming a mix of French, Spanish, and redneck. He was a tall man, nearly as tall as Armstrong, and he had an unnaturally orange shock of spiky shoulder length hair, and a pointed goatee to match. Roy seemed automatically exhausted by this man whom clasped his shoulder and began to chatter while he and his assistants looked over every inch of the two soldiers. Riza, nearly shot the young man who suddenly took out a tape measurer to her hips, but Roy put his hand up and whispered to Joplin. "Oh I see a feisty one aye? We'll make this fats love" he winked at Riza who shot colonel Mustang an annoyed glance as she was rushed into another room. "This will be so much fun!" Joplin exclaimed clasping his hands together.

Roy coughed, a fog of hairspray was making everything hazy and he and Riza had endured hours of this torture they were trying to pass as beauty regimen. He had been plucked, pinched, colored, cut, and waxed, he could only imagine what his poor Lieutenant had gone through.

Riza sighed, this hadn't been so bad, plucking eyebrows, and waxing bikini lines were part of a female's life, so the pain was simple, she now was having a pre-pedicure massage by a gentle therapist who was rubbing her feet down with peppermint oil. The worst part was definitely the hair, after the stylist had whined over her split ends for quite a while, they had added a few lowlights of caramel to her hair and then layered just the ends, then straightening it just to flip the ends in a million crazy directions with a curling iron. It reminded Riza of a longer version of Glacier's hair. 'I wonder how Roy is fairing' she whispered in her head, only there daring to call him by that name.

Roy groaned, as he finished getting dressed, the clothes they had chosen for him were actually comfortable, a pair of slightly cargo-like khakis and a soft green sweater with a crème checked shirt beneath, the collar and tails hanging from the sweater. He didn't know why the man he was playing had to be such a geek, but it was fun to do a little role playing now and then. He glanced in the mirror momentarily, they had slicked his hair back, he hadn't worn it that way since the funeral, and he scowled at the reflection, though the blue tint they had added to his hair was kind of nice. He put on the thick black rimmed glasses they had given him, and wondered if this was how Hughes had seen the world. "No, his glasses were mentally rose colored…" he murmured before exciting the small room to go into the front room and wait on Riza so they could finally began travel to their destination.

He heard a yelp and saw a young assistant, male, explode from a random doorway and run down the hall with a fleeting "I'm sorry ma'm!" Riza Hawkeye walked from the room, gun in hand and jaw set in annoyance. Roy smirked, but then didn't know what to do as Riza looked up and saw him. She blank her eyes, and slowly lowered her gun to her side. 'Why is he looking at me that way?' she wondered frantically, remembering why she had stopped wearing make-up and had strived to be simple, she had nevered cared for men looking at her like they were hungry.

Roy gaped, Riza had always been cute, but now she was stunning, beautiful, amazing. Her blonde hair was styled and her lips were cherry, the make-up they had applied made her golden eyes even more intense and her white strapless sundress hugged the soft slender curves her bulky uniform had hidden. "Riza, you're…." Roy's enigmatic gaze and soft words were interrupted by Joplin's sudden clapping "I have made two raggedy dish rags into fluffy white bath towels!" he exclaimed loudly, even though all he had done was bark orders and fluctuate his accent with his mood. Roy and Riza looked at each other and left, not a word or look, they were sick of this man, and his odd Asian, British, African, Brazilian ways. But before leaving a shot ran out and a silver bullet whizzed over his head nudging a stray spike back into perfection.

The car ride was a quiet one, the first hour Riza read her book while Roy studied files. Finally a quarter of the way into the second hour the handsome colonel spoke. "Melissa, that's what I have to get used to calling you, of course here it says I should call you 'Lissy' in a loving manner…." Riza glanced over and him and nodded "Yes, that's right Gavin dear, and my pet name for you is….." Riza stopped reading Roy's papers and flushed "Vinny…." Roy sighed and shook his head, no matter how long they had practiced, though they had become used to close contact, this was going to be awkward. "Well Lissy, darling, we have this car ride to fall in love, because our honey-moon is only a few hours away." Riza grimaced inwardly she liked Roy, and that was exactly the problem, sometimes she couldn't keep her demeanor around him so she'd just shoot, but her gun was only to be used in dire circumstances, and if she blew their cover Roy may never become Fuehrer. "Yes, I suppose so," she said as he handed her a gold band slipping his own on his left ring finger. "Our honey moon indeed…."

Hey guys, sorry about misspelling 'colonel' last chapter, I forgot to fix the spelling last minute

Lydia


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